The Clumsy Girl

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Yesterday, I diden come in the class. The reason isen resaonable enough actually. I am nerveos and getting stuck in writing my 8000-word essay, that has been written since 2,5months ago although it's due in the end of the session, I mean in 3weeks, still enough time, isen'it. I said to the lecturer an hour before the class tough. I said, I just wanted to sit and study alone by myself. I know this wasen a good idea. But by attending the class, I think it'll deteriorate my confidence, to present my work next week. I wish my lecturer said something to motivate me but he just saw me deeply. honestly, I feel guilty. I feel I am the stupidest person in the world. I spent my time reading and writing nearly everyday and everynight. and last night, I almost missed the last unibeat shuttle bus, alhamdulillah... so I am safe till home. but then, I woke up late and this morning I wasen looking after my husband as I used to. now, my eyes are getting wet because it is not finished yet and I miss my husband.

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Well, I do not want to give up. I really want to upgrade my struggle. The problem isen I dunno the to-be-written material but I am getting stuck how to start. I already applied some writting techniques. These aren enough yet. My sentences are still vague and I cant ignore it for a temporary time before I finish writing all of them, so I waste my time to edit and edit unimportant stuffs. aku ga bisa nahan nafsu untuk tidak mengedit kalimatku sebelum aku selesai nulis semuanya. Jadinya malah gak selesai2. Aku udah mulai bosen dan aku semakin males. aku udah pengen ganti tema hidup. There are still many things to do and more important. aku udah gak sabar untuk ngurus ethics approval and ke lapangan, ambil data gitu loh.... *bermimpi* oh...endah...endah....the clumsy girl...! aku emang pemalas!